Bar Talk

Over the course of my drinking career I've had many conversations with people, mostly strangers, that have somehow remained in my memory.  It's impossible to remember the conversation word for word especially after a heavy night of drinking, which is why I write from the banks of my memory.  These are people who exist and may as well be characters in a story.  Their names have been changed.

This is dedicated to Ralph Hart. I'll see  you on the otherside my friend.

Bar: 3300 Club
Characters: Mr. Hart, Memo, Goldie.


Mr. Hart: How ya doin Goldie?
Goldie: Hey baby, I'm doing great.
Mr Hart. This is my boy Memo, heir to Di Napolis, Memo meet Goldie.
Memo: Hi, nice to meet you.
Goldie: Hey baby how the fuck are you?
Memo: Good thanks, nice bar you got here. It's my type of place, dark and seedy.
Goldie: We do our best to keep it that way. What can I get you?
Memo: I'll have a Guinness please. This is a cool spot Mr. Hart. It's a nice change from the Pub.
Mr. Hart: Yea it's cool. Goldie and me go way back. I be knowin her for a long ass time.
Memo: No shit, huh?
Mr. Hart. Yea, when she was toe up I helped her move all her shit out of her apartment.
Goldie: It's true. This motherfucker moved my shit when I was crying my eyes out, and I had to get the fuck out of there.
Memo: Damn, so you actually did physical labor at one point in your life.
Mr. Hart. Shit man, that's cold. I like workin but my bad hip don't allow me to. Don't she look like Goldie Hawn?
Memo: Who the fuck is Goldie Hawn Mr Hart?
Mr. Hart: Shit man, you never seen Goldie Hawn on T.V. and shit?
Memo: I don't really watch T.V. Mr. Hart. Most of what is on it is crap. But anyway the name sounds familiar. What movie was she in?
Mr. Hart: Shit man you should know I don't keep up with Hollywood.
Memo: Dude she was a star over 30 fucking years ago. I think you have one of her movies in your ample movie collection. The movie with the fucking boat and the captain. Does it ring a bell Mr. Hart?
Mr. Hart: Yea you right.
Memo: I know I'm right. You watched it recently when I came up to play chess.
Mr. Hart: So you think she looks like Goldie Hawn?
Memo: A faint resemblance. Perhaps the Goldie Hawn of San Francisco.
Mr. Hart: So you would do her?
Memo: How did I know you were about to ask me that? I know, it's because you're a man, a perverted old black man.
Mr. Hart: Relax man its only a question. Man I know you like them cougars. You don't know it yet but I do. I seen the way you look at Miss. Bobbit.
Memo: You're fucking crazy, lay off the drugs Mr. Hart.
Goldie: Can I start you on another Guinness hon?
Memo: Sure, thanks.
Mr. Hart: Shit man you trippin. Just admit it.
Memo: You're the one who is tripping Mr. Hart knowing your history. Where were you in the 60's.
Mr. Hart:  Hell Yea, I was in the fucking City. The City was the place to be back then. We was all smoking joints and dropping acid on Haight and in the park.
Memo: You fucking hippie.
Mr. Hart: I ain't no hippie. Anyway its different now. Yawl can't recreate that time and place.  Now everyone wants to come to the City to live here. The rent here is so high it's fucking ridiculous, an arm and a leg. And why? Because when they think if San Francisco, they think of the hippies, drugs, music, counter culture lifestyle but that's all in the dust now, and it ain't coming back.  Nowadays people be too caught up in cell phones they don't know what's going on around them or some other technology that distracts them from reality.  Back in the day we didn't have no fucking cell phones. All we needed was bell bottoms, a joint, and your voice.  And getting laid was easy as hell. Like I said man, a different time and place.
Memo: I kind of resent my generation's obsessive relationship to technology.  I'm just waiting for Skynet to take over and unleash an ungodly war on humans.
Mr. Hart: Man you trippin.
Memo: I wish I was tripping.
Mr. Hart: You just need to loosen up around women that's all. Let's go out for a smoke.